on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
