Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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