The maid of honor just puked.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
