What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
