I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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