My nipple is on Facebook.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize