bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
