I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
