It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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