he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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