bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just had sex bonerless
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
