Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
