Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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