This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
