she looked like the before picture.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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