I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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