They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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