yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My vagina is officially offended.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
