I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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