Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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