We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize