my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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