i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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