Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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