took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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