I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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