I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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