I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
