Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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