singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
