whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
