he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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