I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
