I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
