He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
