I want to stick my p in your. b.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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