I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
