OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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