Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
