The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
