belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
