just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
