Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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