i permit you to call me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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