dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We are two peas in an std pod
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
