I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
