So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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