Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you never un-have a 4some
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
