He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize