do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
