I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize