Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
