Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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