I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
