whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
