It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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