I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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