Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
