hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
