Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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