it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
