oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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