I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
