physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
