you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
