no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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