i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
