Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize