so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
