It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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