All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
