I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
