Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
