its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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