Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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