So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize