College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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