Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
